Charles Atta, pictured above, is a wizard.
I realize that elsewhere, this ‘fact’ in and of its self would be the topic of a lengthy and hilarious discussion, but that’s not why we are here. No.
Today, we will take this to be a given, and get to the crux of the issue.
Charles Atta is not just a wizard…. he is a wizard in crisis.
According to the article, Uncle Charles, a septuagenarian from Akropong ( we are probably kin), was flying in the company of two other wizards to a convention in Cape Coast in the dead of night. As you do.
Unfortunately for him, he flew directly over a church at which an all-night prayer meeting was being held, which caused him to crash land near a river in Kasoa. He was found by two boys and taken to a radio station.
Oh, and incase you were wondering why he appears to have bosoms, its because he “borrowed” them from his 16 year old grand daughter.
Did you get all of that?
Now here’s what im trying to figure out:
Does it mean that prayer affects a wizard’s internal GPS in the same way that putting a magnet near a compass does?
Do wizards in fact have internal GPS? Or did he rely on Google Maps?
Why didn’t his companions stop to help him? Surely at some point they must have noticed they were missing a man?
What is the collective noun for wizard? Coven… Circle… War?
Why was he taken to a radio station? As opposed to the hospital, or the police station?
And most worryingly.. who needs to borrow breastises to attend a meeting? No sir.
Ok ok ok. I realise the tone of this whole thing is humourous, but i was quite disturbed when i read it.
Who is this poor man? Someones grandpa, who id guess is suffering from dementia or some other form of mental illness.
Instead of getting sympathy and medical assistance, the police only showed up at the radio station when they heard there was an angry mob outside waiting to lynch Uncle Charles. You know, for being a breast-borrowing supernatural being and all that. He was taken into custody for his own protection. As of article print date, no one had claimed him, and for all we know he is still languishing there. No case worker, no nothing. And what sort of treatment do you think a self proclaimed wizard will receive in jail? Yeah
There is so much to be done in terms of education about mental health issues here. But at the moment, the rule of thumb is simply.. dont go crazy in Ghana. Nothing good will come of it. 😦
I dont want to end on such a dark note. Quiz time!
Which group is known for having the deadliest juju aka agbala aka african electronics?
Northerners ( We once had bow wielding, one eyed watchman who said he was impervious to bullets)
Voltarians.. or Mountain Folk (Antrak and Starbow? For amateurs..)
PS: Its actually 2am, and ive decided that this post is ridiculous and stupid.. but it stays *hits publish button*