Ladies and gentlemen, please step in here for a moment.
Id like for us to have a discussion about church. (Dun dun dun!)
When i tell people i dont go to church, it usually goes like this:
Person (concerned): Ey! You don’t go to church? Why? Don’t you believe in God?
Me: Sure i do. Jesus is my HOMIE. But i don’t believe in man, and i feel organized religion-church, is a man made construct, where the emphasis seems to be pastor (or bishop/prophet/anointed shepherd/whatever title they bestow upon themselves) worship, and not God worship. So nah.
At this point, the person backs away slowly, as if i just confessed to having Ebola. Or they decide to take up the task of saving me from damnation. And insist that i accompany them to their church, because this time it will be different.
And so begins the story of how i went to church with my cousin, and ended up spending most of the time in the cafeteria eating meat pie, because i staged a walk out 20 minutes into proceedings. You’re probably saying, “chai! what sort of behavior is that?” lol. But hear me out first.
It started reasonably well. It wasn’t a regular Sunday service, but a special prayer fest, dedicated to a better 2014. So i prayed dutifully; good health for myself and loved ones, career success, clarity, an enriched relationship with God. All wonderful. My brow furrowed slightly when the pastor interrupted to say he’d received a vision. “I see a doooor(ah)! And behind this door, i see a room full of goooold(ah)! That is YOUR blessing(ah)!But, i also see a fat woman!The fat woman is blocking the door! We command her to mooov(ah)! I say moooov(ah)!” Hmmm. But i said ok.. well.. move then heffa, and let me get this gold. LOL
Then there was something about a flaming sword and it all got too Final Fantasy VII, so i started tuning out. After that, the pastor moved into the congregation, where he picked people out, to tell them their personal vision he’d received.
He got to a lady sitting two rows in front of me.
“Madam, stand up. Have you been sick recently? Were you at the hospital? Yes pastor. When you went, what did the doctor say? That you need a blood transfusion? Yes pastor. And you took the transfusion? Yes, i did. When you were in hospital, someone came to visit you..and brought you soup,yes? Eh! Yes pastor. *pastor nods sagely, pauses for effect* The blood transfusion was DEMONIC! I seeee the principalities working(ah)! I see the blood drying up and turning to DUST in your body(ah)! And the soup.. the sooouuup(ah)! It is a catalyst for the demonic interference to go on! But we bind it in JESUS name!”
He lay his hand on her and prayed. And then he did it. This man, looked this woman, who was sick enough to need a blood transfusion, dead in the eyes and said.. “dont go back to the hospital. Pray…. pray.”
DONT. GO. BACK. TO. THE. HOSPITAL. How incredibly, utterly, irresponsible! That’s when i left. I just could not, in good conscience, sit there and watch him tell someone to refuse necessary medical attention because the blood was demonic. And i know if she were to die, they would say that she didnt pray hard enough, so the demons overcame her. Just..NO.
Where did this all go down? Action Chapel. The same Action Chapel that has been in the news this week because Pastor Duncan Williams says prayer can cause the cedi to stabilize. And if you are a nobody,( poor, childless, and unwed..like me.. yaaay!), then you are not allowed to critique him.
By no means am i trying to single Action Chapel out. There are far worse goings-on in churches around the world.
But how does this happen? One minute you are trying to find salvation, and the next, you are chewing grass and getting trampled on, supposedly in the name of Jesus. It frightens me, and saddens me, and ultimately, keeps me parked at home any given Sunday.
I would love to hear from the more spiritually enlightened amongst you. How do we know who is a genuine man of God, and who is a fraud?
Till next time brethren!